Wednesday 11 June 2014

My Great Affection For (Bad) Plastic Surgery

The babe that is Carrot Top

Distracting or trying to get my attention isn’t a difficult task. Instantly start clapping and I’ll happily be wearing an ear-to-ear grin and excitably join in with you. I’m simple-minded person, easily enthused and entertained by the smallest things. However if you want my absolute attention - walk past me sporting a pair of aesthetically enhanced breasts, fake lips or an unnaturally tightened face and honey, I’m yours.

I can’t pinpoint the pivotal moment in my life when my fascination for bad plastic surgery started. However I do remember as a young child discussing with my mother about how people with plastic surgery would decompose, as I literally thought they were going to the doctor’s to be transformed progressively into Barbie and Ken dolls. I have since found out otherwise.

Real Life Barbie and Ken doll
(aka Justin Jedlica and Valeria Lukyanova)

My mother discouraged me from bad-mouthing celebrities that had plastic surgery, only to confess to me that I have gone under the knife also! Shocked and appalled, I accused my mother - who was meant to be my responsible guardian - of negligence and stormed off in rage.

Eventually I forgave my mother and bonded with her over ‘Awful Plastic Surgery’, a no longer existing website that exploited victims of well … it is pretty self-explanatory.

Teenage runaway bride, Courtney Stodden
Famous for her DD's and marrying 51year old Doug Hutchinson at the tender age of 16
If you have the time like I do, I highly recommend you Google her

I found this obsession for the subjectively overdone, aesthetically enhanced plastic surgery victims was the only interest of mine that remained consistent and flourished over the years.

For me seeing a victim of bad plastic surgery is the equivalent of seeing a zoo animal on the street. Instead of fear, I would be in awe and amazement like it is something I have never seen before. I would stare at the creature, marvel at their glory and wonder if it is real. I would then starting wondering what their motives for getting plastic surgery done, question what percentage of them was real and fake and what they’ve had done.

Mamie Van Doren
… Should I mention she is 83 years old?


There is no doubt in my mind I would react to them the same as a creepy blind man meeting someone for the first time.

Personally I wouldn’t go to the extremes of getting work done for vanity purposes* … I like having breasts small and humble so that you don’t confuse them with mountains. Although I do appreciate those that make the extreme decision to go under the knife to alter their look, I find it a bit disconcerting that they haven’t grown to love and appreciate what they’ve got and maybe that’s why I find bad plastic surgery so fascinating.

If there is a victim of plastic surgery you think I should be checking out, let me know!

#BeyoncéWouldBeProud x


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Now would be a good time to mention that the plastic surgery I had was when I was 2 or 3 years old and my skin got caught on concrete steps. Apparently I was unconscious, got plastic surgery to heal my wound and have a scar from it next my left eye.

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