R U Okay?

Recently in Australia it was ‘R U Okay?’ Day. A day founded by Gavin Larkin in 2009, to spark and encourage a meaningful conversation as a form of suicide prevention. Although the idea of the day may sound simplistic and ideal, it can be a conversation that can open doors and encourage people who 'are not okay’ to speak up and get help.

Like many other people all over the world, I have my down days where I am not okay. On those days I feel sad, insecure and sometimes have no idea why. I feel down on myself and wonder WTF I am doing with my life, in which direction my life choices taking me; if this where I want to be and am I even happy?

It’s fairly normal as human beings to go through an emotional rollercoaster and to be blatantly honest, if our lives always came up all happy, bubbly and full of contentment; how boring would life be! We need to be challenged, because if we aren’t challenged, we don’t grow. We don’t gain strength and we become forever stagnant.

Day One (of four) of the Inca Trek to Machu Picchu, Peru

That is why whenever I’m feeling down, I try to reflect on my life, accomplishments and recognise how far I’ve come. It may sound pretentious but some of the best life advice I’ve ever received came accidentally from my Peruvian tour guide, Diana. While we were doing the Inca trek to Machu Picchu, I kept noticing her stopping in her tracks to look around, smile and sometimes close her eyes to feel the breeze. She’d always do this every so often and stop for about five minutes at a time. I asked her why, as I was curious why she wasn’t competing to get to our next meeting point like the rest of us. She said ‘Firstly it isn’t a competition and I like to take my time, stop, take a moment to see how far I’ve come and enjoy the moment. It’s not everyday like these moments where you can actually see how far you’ve come”, she then pointed in the far distance to show me where yesterday’s starting point was, smiled and asked ‘how amazing does that feel, Leah?’

Day Four of the Inca Trek with Machu Picchu in the background

… It felt pretty amazing. Unfortunately in life, we don’t always get the opportunity to see how far we have come visually, but it is always important to recognise you’re achievements even when your negative emotions may impair your vision and accomplishments.

I may not know you as my readers, but I can guarantee that you are more than likely an awesome human being that has achieved so much in your own rights. If you are not feeling okay right now, I encourage you in your positive moments of happiness to write down all your accomplishments, everything you are proud of achieving; collect photographs that make you warm your heart and spark happy memories. Once you have done so, put it up somewhere you can see it, like on a wall. Or if you don’t feel comfortable having it on display for all to see, then put it in a box and remind yourself to look at it when you’re feeling down as a reminder that you have accomplished so much and have many things to be proud of.

Also remember, there is always someone out there who cares deeply about you. So if you ‘are not okay’, speak up.

#BeyoncéWouldBeProud

Gotta Try Before you buy #SingleLyf #Unapologetic

I was out on a first or second date a few weeks ago with an Englishman. We went for a late morning breakfast in a trendy area of Melbourne. As we were waiting for our meals to arrive, I told him of my overseas adventures and gave him my phone to give him better context on the conversation through photos.

As he was looking, unbeknownst to me, a girlfriend texted asking ‘how my dates were going’ *please note plural use of the word “dates”. He read the message out loud a couple of times and asked “Am I not the only guy you are seeing?” All I could do was laugh. Not because it was funny, in fact it was extremely awkward! The situation was just so completely foreign to me that I had absolutely no idea how to react. Was I supposed to be mature, upfront and honest with my Englishman? Should I have sat him down and said “No, you’re obviously not the only guy I’m seeing. To be fair though, this is our first or second date. I do like you, and would like to see where this goes…”?

Pretty much how much my Englishman made me feel on our first or second date
(Like I was Sookie Stackhouse in True Blood with a bunch of bloodthirsty vampires)

Needless to say, we awkwardly sat through the rest of our breakfasts in silence and never saw each other again. Although I feel sorry about bruising my Englishman’s ego, I’m also completely unapologetic. If he were the man for me, he might’ve had his ego hurt but would still come from a place of understanding, and maybe even feel more competitive or determined to win my affection knowing that I have other eligible suitors, or prince charmings … or maybe that’s just me in an idealistic fairytale.

Since my earlier years, I’ve come to learn as a single woman in my mid-twenties that you cannot put all your eggs in one basket. When dating one person at one time, I found I’d become too invested too soon, get heartbroken, be disappointed with the short amount of time wasted on that one person and feel disheartened for passing up opportunities with other more compatible suitors.

I’m not sure if this clip ties in with this topic, but I figure you can date as many people you want if you’re an #IndependentWoman ... I wonder if Destiny’s Child fit that into their lyrics!

I’ve found many advantages to dating at least two or three people while single before entering an exclusive relationship:

• It takes pressure off each individual you are dating
• You learn not to be so dependent on anyone you’re dating
• Helps you appreciate and define the qualities you are most attracted too and compatible with
• Encourages you to not settle for second best
• Gives you opportunity to compare (i.e. pros and cons)
• Helps you become more self-reliant
• Encourages and gives you opportunity to try new cafes, restaurants and bars*
• Increases active listening skills and memory
• Alertness
• Increases your time management skills

*and potentially get a free feed

While I believe in being single, getting out of your comfort zone and exploring the dating realm, I’d like to be absolutely clear that once someone I’m dating and I discuss where our relationship is heading and we both agree on being exclusive, I do not see anyone else romantically and commit to them fully.

Although I understand why people cheat, I don’t agree with it. Nor would I intentionally betray someone’s feelings like that. However it is important to know that while you are single, you have no obligation to be faithful to anyone but yourself. Therefore live the dream, be that free-spirited single angel you are, and date as many people as you like! Go you single thang!

#BeyoncéWouldBeProud xo