Being Yoncé (part one of 3)

Unlike most years for Halloween, this year was different. An American girlfriend of mine was feeling nostalgic and wanted to get into the festive spirit of it all and themed her October 31^st Birthday around it.

Initially my friend - knowing that I am a Beyoncé fan - suggested that I purchase a shirt saying, “I woke up like this” and rock up in the pyjamas. I was definitely enthused by her idea but thought I’d like to take it a step further. So I suggested I could dress up as ‘All the Single Ladies (Put a ring on it)’ Yoncé! She laughed, said that was awesome, “but will you be comfortable? I mean, it is quite risqué!”

I shrugged her off saying that ‘of course I’ll comfortable, I’mma be Yoncé’!

Beyoncé in all her glory

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Flash forward a few weeks later when I was actually in store trying on black leotards, channelling my future Beyoncé. I finally came to the realisation of what my friend meant by being “risqué”. Alas, it was too late! Not only was I committed, but also dedicated and excited!

The Leotard

I booked the hair appointment, got my gradual tanning lotion out and religiously started watching ‘All The Single Ladies’ for make-up and Yoncé-spiration (pronounced yons-per-ration).

Phase Two: The Hair

The night came and I successfully transformed from Leah into my sassy, bootylicious alter ego, Leyoncé Fierce. I channelled my inner diva, relinquished her from her cage and bitch, was I fierce! So I thought, why not share with you what I learnt from being Yoncé:

No Pants, No Worries

My biggest concern being Yoncé was the black leotard and how much of me would be on show. I almost never leave home without my pants on, but this was one of those rare occasions that called for it.

I have come to learn that there is nothing like liquid confidence or liquid courage. So I strategically decided to apply my make up prior to alcoholic consumption (FYI ladies, applying make up drunk is never a wise idea, Jenna Marbles can explain).

Once my make up was done, I put my leotard on, along with a skirt to cover myself up. After having a couple of wines and travellers in the car, my friends and I arrived to the party, where I literally unzipped my skirt in the middle of the street, threw it in the car and said, “I won’t be needing that!” I then strutted into the party with my friends behind laughing at my ridiculous diva attitude, probably wondering where the hell it came from.

Leyoncé Fierce's transformation complete 

Bow Down Bitches

For the most part, it was pretty obvious to partygoers who I was. However one party patron politely asked who I was, so I flashed her a smile, showed off my hand jewels, hair, modelled my black leotard and even briefly attempted the ‘Single Ladies’ dance. She shrugged saying, “ergh, I don’t know? Ariana Grande?” … *Cue jaw-dropping shock*

I CANNOT even express my disappointment through words! I gasped, lowered my voice and asked, “Do you even know who I am!? BOW DOWN BITCH!”

… This must be how Beyoncé feels when she wants to be recognised by the media but gets confused as being a homeless bum. I’m sure it doesn’t happen often, but that was exactly how I felt.

Continue to "Part Two of 3: Being Yoncé"

Ovaries Before Brovaries: Finding out about the BRCA1 Gene

Always a Leslie Knope quote for every occasion

A few years ago my mother (aka ‘Mama Torts’) organised an impromptu family dinner. While eating our chicken soup with Matzah balls, she casually, yet abruptly announced that she’s had genetic testing, that it has come out positive with the BRCA1 Gene and she’s made a date to get her ovaries taken out.

… In unison, my brother and I dropped our jaws and our matzah balls, and somehow lost our appetites also.

To put simply, the BRCA1 gene is a hereditary disposition to female-related cancers like ovary and breast cancer. My mother took the genetic testing as she was curious to know if their was a link, or reason why all the women on her side of the family died at a young age because of cancer and if she was at risk. Also within a short period of time my mother found out her results, her sister had also found out she had cervix cancer (which we later found out is not related to the BRCA1 gene).

Mama and Baby Torts x

When I spoke to my mother, she explained that was quite shocked to find out she was a carrier of the BRCA1 gene, even though not only her mother, but her aunt and grandmother died at a young age of cancer. However she was determined on making life changes to increase her longevity and encouraged me to do the testing also.

Fast-forward five years later, I took the test. Keeping in mind my mother’s side of the family history, I went in to my first appointment (where they took blood samples) assuming I would definitely have the gene. I mean, three generations of women on my mother’s side of the family had it. Also being the only daughter to my parents, it’d be a miracle if the mutated gene somehow skipped me! So to ease my nerves during the appointment, I kept cracking jokes with the doctor’s telling them it won’t be necessary to take my blood, as I know I have the gene. They politely laughed and said they have ethics to adhere to.

So when it came to receiving my results, it really came as no shock when they affirmed that I have the BRCA1 gene. This means that I am at higher risk than the general public of getting cancer and that there are precautionary steps I will need to consider in my mid-late 30s to prevent my potential cancer risk.

Australia's most famous advocates and sharers of the BRCA1 gene, the Neave sisters
(L-R) Elisha, Christine and Veronica
To watch their story, please click on the following link

Good news is that I have ten years until I have to worry about this stuff. However it really does force you to have perspective, such as I am 26 years old. In ten years I will be at a higher risk of developing cancer than I am now. I do want to have children, but do I want to have children in the next ten years? I have absolutely no idea, but I feel like I am forced to think about it now.

Not only that, but in the next ten years when I am at higher risk, out of my own safety I would want to have my ovaries removed for precaution. As for my breasts, they are my womanhood. I love having them there. They are basically the female equivalents of having testicles. If I ever had them removed, I would definitely feel less of a women, however I am in awe of women like Angelina Jolie (who made the BRCA1 gene famous), who decide to take that drastic step for their health.

Angelina Jolie took the drastic step of having a double mastectomy to prevent her risk of breast cancer

I want to live a life of health and longevity, so it’s a scary thought when you have medical professionals tell you that that may not be genetically possible. On the contrary though, I do have a role model mother that has already outlived the women on her side of the family, is living a healthy lifestyle (without her ovaries) and like me, feels fondly of her breasts, which she hopes to never remove unless absolutely necessary. Also with medicine and technology advancing at a rapid pace, who’s to say I can’t?

Please donate to the National Breast Cancer Foundation, or alternatively to the Ovarian Cancer Australia.

 #BeyoncéWouldBeProud x

R U Okay?

Recently in Australia it was ‘R U Okay?’ Day. A day founded by Gavin Larkin in 2009, to spark and encourage a meaningful conversation as a form of suicide prevention. Although the idea of the day may sound simplistic and ideal, it can be a conversation that can open doors and encourage people who 'are not okay’ to speak up and get help.

Like many other people all over the world, I have my down days where I am not okay. On those days I feel sad, insecure and sometimes have no idea why. I feel down on myself and wonder WTF I am doing with my life, in which direction my life choices taking me; if this where I want to be and am I even happy?

It’s fairly normal as human beings to go through an emotional rollercoaster and to be blatantly honest, if our lives always came up all happy, bubbly and full of contentment; how boring would life be! We need to be challenged, because if we aren’t challenged, we don’t grow. We don’t gain strength and we become forever stagnant.

Day One (of four) of the Inca Trek to Machu Picchu, Peru

That is why whenever I’m feeling down, I try to reflect on my life, accomplishments and recognise how far I’ve come. It may sound pretentious but some of the best life advice I’ve ever received came accidentally from my Peruvian tour guide, Diana. While we were doing the Inca trek to Machu Picchu, I kept noticing her stopping in her tracks to look around, smile and sometimes close her eyes to feel the breeze. She’d always do this every so often and stop for about five minutes at a time. I asked her why, as I was curious why she wasn’t competing to get to our next meeting point like the rest of us. She said ‘Firstly it isn’t a competition and I like to take my time, stop, take a moment to see how far I’ve come and enjoy the moment. It’s not everyday like these moments where you can actually see how far you’ve come”, she then pointed in the far distance to show me where yesterday’s starting point was, smiled and asked ‘how amazing does that feel, Leah?’

Day Four of the Inca Trek with Machu Picchu in the background

… It felt pretty amazing. Unfortunately in life, we don’t always get the opportunity to see how far we have come visually, but it is always important to recognise you’re achievements even when your negative emotions may impair your vision and accomplishments.

I may not know you as my readers, but I can guarantee that you are more than likely an awesome human being that has achieved so much in your own rights. If you are not feeling okay right now, I encourage you in your positive moments of happiness to write down all your accomplishments, everything you are proud of achieving; collect photographs that make you warm your heart and spark happy memories. Once you have done so, put it up somewhere you can see it, like on a wall. Or if you don’t feel comfortable having it on display for all to see, then put it in a box and remind yourself to look at it when you’re feeling down as a reminder that you have accomplished so much and have many things to be proud of.

Also remember, there is always someone out there who cares deeply about you. So if you ‘are not okay’, speak up.

#BeyoncéWouldBeProud

Gotta Try Before you buy #SingleLyf #Unapologetic

I was out on a first or second date a few weeks ago with an Englishman. We went for a late morning breakfast in a trendy area of Melbourne. As we were waiting for our meals to arrive, I told him of my overseas adventures and gave him my phone to give him better context on the conversation through photos.

As he was looking, unbeknownst to me, a girlfriend texted asking ‘how my dates were going’ *please note plural use of the word “dates”. He read the message out loud a couple of times and asked “Am I not the only guy you are seeing?” All I could do was laugh. Not because it was funny, in fact it was extremely awkward! The situation was just so completely foreign to me that I had absolutely no idea how to react. Was I supposed to be mature, upfront and honest with my Englishman? Should I have sat him down and said “No, you’re obviously not the only guy I’m seeing. To be fair though, this is our first or second date. I do like you, and would like to see where this goes…”?

Pretty much how much my Englishman made me feel on our first or second date
(Like I was Sookie Stackhouse in True Blood with a bunch of bloodthirsty vampires)

Needless to say, we awkwardly sat through the rest of our breakfasts in silence and never saw each other again. Although I feel sorry about bruising my Englishman’s ego, I’m also completely unapologetic. If he were the man for me, he might’ve had his ego hurt but would still come from a place of understanding, and maybe even feel more competitive or determined to win my affection knowing that I have other eligible suitors, or prince charmings … or maybe that’s just me in an idealistic fairytale.

Since my earlier years, I’ve come to learn as a single woman in my mid-twenties that you cannot put all your eggs in one basket. When dating one person at one time, I found I’d become too invested too soon, get heartbroken, be disappointed with the short amount of time wasted on that one person and feel disheartened for passing up opportunities with other more compatible suitors.

I’m not sure if this clip ties in with this topic, but I figure you can date as many people you want if you’re an #IndependentWoman ... I wonder if Destiny’s Child fit that into their lyrics!

I’ve found many advantages to dating at least two or three people while single before entering an exclusive relationship:

• It takes pressure off each individual you are dating
• You learn not to be so dependent on anyone you’re dating
• Helps you appreciate and define the qualities you are most attracted too and compatible with
• Encourages you to not settle for second best
• Gives you opportunity to compare (i.e. pros and cons)
• Helps you become more self-reliant
• Encourages and gives you opportunity to try new cafes, restaurants and bars*
• Increases active listening skills and memory
• Alertness
• Increases your time management skills

*and potentially get a free feed

While I believe in being single, getting out of your comfort zone and exploring the dating realm, I’d like to be absolutely clear that once someone I’m dating and I discuss where our relationship is heading and we both agree on being exclusive, I do not see anyone else romantically and commit to them fully.

Although I understand why people cheat, I don’t agree with it. Nor would I intentionally betray someone’s feelings like that. However it is important to know that while you are single, you have no obligation to be faithful to anyone but yourself. Therefore live the dream, be that free-spirited single angel you are, and date as many people as you like! Go you single thang!

#BeyoncéWouldBeProud xo