Black Market Tampons

Usually when I travel, I am pretty cautious. I’ll never pack condoms, but will always carry an excessive amount of tampons to last my entire trip and five months after. I do not know why, but I suppose as a woman, the likelihood of getting my period is a more promising outcome than the likelihood of getting laid. Although I believe it is equal responsibilities for both sexes to carry protection on them when travelling, it is definitely uncharacteristic of the male gender to be carrying around sanitary products in case they start menstruating. So yeah, that’s my justification.

Anyway prior to my Thailand travels, I looked at my diary and made a mental note that my period wasn’t due until the time I got home, so I decided to wing it (get the pun?). Unfortunately a couple of days before I was due to return, I noticed I was becoming overly emotional about insignificant things and displaying insomniac tendencies: all (hormonal) signs my body conveys to tell me “she’s” coming … And so “she” came, unannounced and earlier than expected.

Unprepared, I walked briskly / ran to the pharmacy around the corner from my hostel where I was greeted by an aisle full of sanitary pads … with no sign of tampons. *Cue internal menstrual freak out right here*

In horror, I could only stare at what was available to me, thinking that I was living my worst nightmare. I then consulted the Thai woman behind the counter to ask if this was all she had, “tampons? Do you have any tampons? Regular? Super?” She just looked at me as if pleading me to stop talking so embarrassingly in a high pitched, hysterical tone. “No” she said solemnly, which brought me to my next challenge of picking the suitable sanitary pads relevant to my “needs” in a foreign language.

I went back to my hostel after making the purchase and promised myself not to cry or show emotion to my male friends, as I didn’t want that awkward conversation: “Why are you upset, Leah?” … Because tampons don’t exist in Thailand and I haven’t used sanitary pads since high school because they are gross! Try explaining that to a male and their mortified reaction. Also, how would anyone without a vagina be able to relate? Would they pat you on the back and say ‘there there, I feel for you, Leah’ … I don’t need your pity. I need a packet of tampons. Pronto!

Instead I did as any sane woman would do and go to her all female dorm, sit down the women in the room and make an announcement. “Ladies, I just got my period and have bought a bunch of sanitary pads, which FYI I have not used since my high school days ten years ago and do not look forward to using them. Do any of you kind ladies have tampons in exchange for sanitary pads or money? I will forever be indebted to you and honour your kindness. I am begging you!”

Quickly two women jumped to their feet and offered the remainder of their tampon collection to me, which I will forever be thankful for. I believe only women can truly be empathetic and understanding of this situation. However the moral of this story: Ladies if you are a tampon user, don’t be daft thinking that your period won’t come early as I did. Think logically and bring a lifetime supply for when annoying Aunty Flow visits you overseas.

Better yet, bring a lifetime supply of tampons in hope of meeting desperate menstruating women like myself, and sell them for quadruple the price you bought them for. Ingenious!

#BeyoncéWouldBeProud x
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