Gotta Try Before you buy #SingleLyf #Unapologetic

I was out on a first or second date a few weeks ago with an Englishman. We went for a late morning breakfast in a trendy area of Melbourne. As we were waiting for our meals to arrive, I told him of my overseas adventures and gave him my phone to give him better context on the conversation through photos.

As he was looking, unbeknownst to me, a girlfriend texted asking ‘how my dates were going’ *please note plural use of the word “dates”. He read the message out loud a couple of times and asked “Am I not the only guy you are seeing?” All I could do was laugh. Not because it was funny, in fact it was extremely awkward! The situation was just so completely foreign to me that I had absolutely no idea how to react. Was I supposed to be mature, upfront and honest with my Englishman? Should I have sat him down and said “No, you’re obviously not the only guy I’m seeing. To be fair though, this is our first or second date. I do like you, and would like to see where this goes…”?

Pretty much how much my Englishman made me feel on our first or second date
(Like I was Sookie Stackhouse in True Blood with a bunch of bloodthirsty vampires)

Needless to say, we awkwardly sat through the rest of our breakfasts in silence and never saw each other again. Although I feel sorry about bruising my Englishman’s ego, I’m also completely unapologetic. If he were the man for me, he might’ve had his ego hurt but would still come from a place of understanding, and maybe even feel more competitive or determined to win my affection knowing that I have other eligible suitors, or prince charmings … or maybe that’s just me in an idealistic fairytale.

Since my earlier years, I’ve come to learn as a single woman in my mid-twenties that you cannot put all your eggs in one basket. When dating one person at one time, I found I’d become too invested too soon, get heartbroken, be disappointed with the short amount of time wasted on that one person and feel disheartened for passing up opportunities with other more compatible suitors.

I’m not sure if this clip ties in with this topic, but I figure you can date as many people you want if you’re an #IndependentWoman ... I wonder if Destiny’s Child fit that into their lyrics!

I’ve found many advantages to dating at least two or three people while single before entering an exclusive relationship:

• It takes pressure off each individual you are dating
• You learn not to be so dependent on anyone you’re dating
• Helps you appreciate and define the qualities you are most attracted too and compatible with
• Encourages you to not settle for second best
• Gives you opportunity to compare (i.e. pros and cons)
• Helps you become more self-reliant
• Encourages and gives you opportunity to try new cafes, restaurants and bars*
• Increases active listening skills and memory
• Alertness
• Increases your time management skills

*and potentially get a free feed

While I believe in being single, getting out of your comfort zone and exploring the dating realm, I’d like to be absolutely clear that once someone I’m dating and I discuss where our relationship is heading and we both agree on being exclusive, I do not see anyone else romantically and commit to them fully.

Although I understand why people cheat, I don’t agree with it. Nor would I intentionally betray someone’s feelings like that. However it is important to know that while you are single, you have no obligation to be faithful to anyone but yourself. Therefore live the dream, be that free-spirited single angel you are, and date as many people as you like! Go you single thang!

#BeyoncéWouldBeProud xo