Back in the day my friends and I would often band together for drinking
games. Our safe favourites were always ‘Never Have I Ever’ and ‘Ring of Fire’,
otherwise affectionately known as ‘Kings Cup’. After playing these games on
rotation for five odd years though, shit got boring (sex-orientated and
predictable) very quickly. However things took a positive turn for my friends
and I when we discovered the joys of Chat Roulette.
For those who are not aware of what Chat Roulette is, Wikipedia describes
it as “a free online chat website that pairs random people around the world together
for webcam-based conversations. Visitors of the website begin an online chat
(text, audio, and video) with another visitor. At any point, either user may
leave the current chat by initiating another random connection”. While
Wikipedia’s definition (to me) seems like a watered-down, G-rated version of
what it really was, Chat Roulette was really platform for mostly sickos who
wanted to rock out with the cock’s out and exhibit their ‘creations’ from god.
Often about 15-20 of us at a
party, my friends would often gather around the computer with the girls in the
foreground of the camera, while the guys remain hidden in the back for jokes to
participate in later in the conversations. I’m not going to lie, after a few
drinks … shit really did get cray! While us girls were in the foreground of the
camera, the guys would communicate to us what to say. Occasionally the girls
would put make up on the guys and do a clothes swap for shits and gigs, which
would often result to a belly laughter amongst everyone in the group. One of my
favourites was when the guys would well out motivation to those sickos having a
wank on screen, yelling at them to ‘tug harder’ / ‘you can do it’ / ‘I’ve seen
better!’ What compels these sickos to display their god’s creation on screen, I
don’t know; but it did make for a lot of laughter.
A few years later, I wanted to
share this laughter with a new group of friends of mine. I jumped on the
website while explaining to the new group what it was and how hilarious it is!
After five minutes of loading the page (yes, that long), an error dialogue
appeared to say the website no longer existed. I shed a tear, questioned how
life could go on, apologised to my new friends that the party was over and it
was time to go home.
I still think about Chat Roulette
today: the what-ifs, the why’s, how life would be so different if it still
existed today. I think about other forms of similar means to fill that missing
void. It wasn’t until continuously swiping left on Tinder that I was looking
through some random guy’s photos when a dick pic presented itself. BINGO! It
was then that Tinder presented itself to me as my new Chat Roulette. Why a guy
would put a dick pic of himself on the dating app, I don’t know. What I do know
though is that you can get your best single gal pals together and set
yourselves a drinking challenge! Below is a Tinder drinking game I have
devised:
DRINK WHEN**:
·
A guy is wearing sunglasses in
his picture
·
A guy only has group photos in
his collection, thus you cannot guess which one he is
·
A guy puts his contact means in
his description (i.e. instagram, snap chat, Facebook)
·
They mention they’re a foreigner
·
There’s a pet selfie of him and
the animal
·
There’s mirror selfie
·
There’s a snowboarding pic
·
There’s a shirtless pic
·
Dick pic presents itself (this
one deserves at least two-three shots!)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
** This list also happens to be my criteria for
rejecting men on Tinder. My theory for each, in order is as follows:
- If a guy is wearing sunglasses in every picture, it feels as if they are masking themselves as a way to disguise their ugliness. It’s like the Tinder equivalent of disguising yourself with a paper bag, and lets face it, most people are better looking with shades on.
- Group photos’ are explanatory. No one wants to play ‘Where’s Wally?’ when you don’t know who or what Wally looks like.
- They just want a free tour guide, accommodation and a shag
- My theory is if a guy lists his Instagram, Snap Chat or Facebook details; he just wants to view you as a number to the list of women he has shagged on Tinder and show off to his mates.
- I usually end up rating the animal on Tinder and overlooking the guy.
- Mirror Selfie = the guy is an egotistical, self-obsessed snob concerned with his looks and vanity.
- I don’t care if a guy can snowboard. As Shania Twain sings ‘that don’t impress me much’.
- Shirtless pic = same as ‘mirror selfie’
- Dick pic = creep who wants a shag to disrespect women.
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