Many moons ago, I
dated a close friend of mine. While I liked the guy, he often ridiculed me for
not investing in any of my hobbies or interests*. Although I lacked the
self-respect and confidence back then, I knew no one should ever be made to
feel guilty for not taking up their own interests, so I decided to give him the
flick as well as a polite-yet-effective way of saying ‘fuck you and good
riddance’ by focusing on the most important person in my life. Me.
Since him, I’ve been in
a happily committed ‘sologamist’ relationship with myself. My sologamist
relationship has only strengthened over time as I strongly support and encourage
myself to do things that make me happy and that I love, like playing soccer, singing
classes and solo international travels to non-English speaking countries. The
time I have spent on myself as well as my experiences have only strengthened
the love, bond and appreciation I have for myself as well as the freedom I have.
Now at an age
where friends are settling down with their long-term partners, moving in,
having mortgages, babies and focusing on their careers, I often ‘joke’ with
them that I’d most likely marry myself if I could. However I have come to the
realisation that it isn’t such a bad idea. I have dated many men who’ve failed
to provide me with the respect and appreciation I deserve. They also cannot
love or spoil me quite like I do for myself. Nor do I expect them to. I
mean I buy myself expensive things like return flights overseas! So I do not
expect that of any man I date, although it would be nice.
If anything I
feel empowered as the person who knows myself best. I enjoy my own company and
laugh at my own jokes. All. The. Time! Any of my friends would endearingly
agree. I am so comfortable in my own company that I can happily keep myself
entertained for hours.
 |
| "When I look back at my self-commitment marriage ceremony, I am reminded that I shouldn't betray myself in any way or at any time" - Chen Wei-yi |
Perhaps ridiculous, but I would love to read your
thoughts!
Next week’s blog: The problems of marrying yourself.
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* I often found his persona intimidating;
if he wanted to go out and do something, he would. In my eyes he appeared
self-actualised and fulfilled. Even though I remember on one occasion getting a
call from him in Sydney to tell me whilst on a bender, that he decided to leave
a party early, catch a cab to Melbourne Airport in the early hours of the
morning and buy an impulse flight to his destination. Each to their own, but
his impulsiveness and fondness of drugs would never make him quality boyfriend
material.
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