R U Okay?

Recently in Australia it was ‘R U Okay?’ Day. A day founded by Gavin Larkin in 2009, to spark and encourage a meaningful conversation as a form of suicide prevention. Although the idea of the day may sound simplistic and ideal, it can be a conversation that can open doors and encourage people who 'are not okay’ to speak up and get help.

Like many other people all over the world, I have my down days where I am not okay. On those days I feel sad, insecure and sometimes have no idea why. I feel down on myself and wonder WTF I am doing with my life, in which direction my life choices taking me; if this where I want to be and am I even happy?

It’s fairly normal as human beings to go through an emotional rollercoaster and to be blatantly honest, if our lives always came up all happy, bubbly and full of contentment; how boring would life be! We need to be challenged, because if we aren’t challenged, we don’t grow. We don’t gain strength and we become forever stagnant.

Day One (of four) of the Inca Trek to Machu Picchu, Peru

That is why whenever I’m feeling down, I try to reflect on my life, accomplishments and recognise how far I’ve come. It may sound pretentious but some of the best life advice I’ve ever received came accidentally from my Peruvian tour guide, Diana. While we were doing the Inca trek to Machu Picchu, I kept noticing her stopping in her tracks to look around, smile and sometimes close her eyes to feel the breeze. She’d always do this every so often and stop for about five minutes at a time. I asked her why, as I was curious why she wasn’t competing to get to our next meeting point like the rest of us. She said ‘Firstly it isn’t a competition and I like to take my time, stop, take a moment to see how far I’ve come and enjoy the moment. It’s not everyday like these moments where you can actually see how far you’ve come”, she then pointed in the far distance to show me where yesterday’s starting point was, smiled and asked ‘how amazing does that feel, Leah?’

Day Four of the Inca Trek with Machu Picchu in the background

… It felt pretty amazing. Unfortunately in life, we don’t always get the opportunity to see how far we have come visually, but it is always important to recognise you’re achievements even when your negative emotions may impair your vision and accomplishments.

I may not know you as my readers, but I can guarantee that you are more than likely an awesome human being that has achieved so much in your own rights. If you are not feeling okay right now, I encourage you in your positive moments of happiness to write down all your accomplishments, everything you are proud of achieving; collect photographs that make you warm your heart and spark happy memories. Once you have done so, put it up somewhere you can see it, like on a wall. Or if you don’t feel comfortable having it on display for all to see, then put it in a box and remind yourself to look at it when you’re feeling down as a reminder that you have accomplished so much and have many things to be proud of.

Also remember, there is always someone out there who cares deeply about you. So if you ‘are not okay’, speak up.

#BeyoncéWouldBeProud

Black Market Tampons

Usually when I travel, I am pretty cautious. I’ll never pack condoms, but will always carry an excessive amount of tampons to last my entire trip and five months after. I do not know why, but I suppose as a woman, the likelihood of getting my period is a more promising outcome than the likelihood of getting laid. Although I believe it is equal responsibilities for both sexes to carry protection on them when travelling, it is definitely uncharacteristic of the male gender to be carrying around sanitary products in case they start menstruating. So yeah, that’s my justification.

Anyway prior to my Thailand travels, I looked at my diary and made a mental note that my period wasn’t due until the time I got home, so I decided to wing it (get the pun?). Unfortunately a couple of days before I was due to return, I noticed I was becoming overly emotional about insignificant things and displaying insomniac tendencies: all (hormonal) signs my body conveys to tell me “she’s” coming … And so “she” came, unannounced and earlier than expected.

Unprepared, I walked briskly / ran to the pharmacy around the corner from my hostel where I was greeted by an aisle full of sanitary pads … with no sign of tampons. *Cue internal menstrual freak out right here*

In horror, I could only stare at what was available to me, thinking that I was living my worst nightmare. I then consulted the Thai woman behind the counter to ask if this was all she had, “tampons? Do you have any tampons? Regular? Super?” She just looked at me as if pleading me to stop talking so embarrassingly in a high pitched, hysterical tone. “No” she said solemnly, which brought me to my next challenge of picking the suitable sanitary pads relevant to my “needs” in a foreign language.

I went back to my hostel after making the purchase and promised myself not to cry or show emotion to my male friends, as I didn’t want that awkward conversation: “Why are you upset, Leah?” … Because tampons don’t exist in Thailand and I haven’t used sanitary pads since high school because they are gross! Try explaining that to a male and their mortified reaction. Also, how would anyone without a vagina be able to relate? Would they pat you on the back and say ‘there there, I feel for you, Leah’ … I don’t need your pity. I need a packet of tampons. Pronto!

Instead I did as any sane woman would do and go to her all female dorm, sit down the women in the room and make an announcement. “Ladies, I just got my period and have bought a bunch of sanitary pads, which FYI I have not used since my high school days ten years ago and do not look forward to using them. Do any of you kind ladies have tampons in exchange for sanitary pads or money? I will forever be indebted to you and honour your kindness. I am begging you!”

Quickly two women jumped to their feet and offered the remainder of their tampon collection to me, which I will forever be thankful for. I believe only women can truly be empathetic and understanding of this situation. However the moral of this story: Ladies if you are a tampon user, don’t be daft thinking that your period won’t come early as I did. Think logically and bring a lifetime supply for when annoying Aunty Flow visits you overseas.

Better yet, bring a lifetime supply of tampons in hope of meeting desperate menstruating women like myself, and sell them for quadruple the price you bought them for. Ingenious!

#BeyoncéWouldBeProud x
beyoncewouldbeproud@gmail.com

Cautionary Tattoo Tale

As appeared in Klementine Magazine

Image that appears with my article on Klementine
(** Not my tattoo)

Being the crazy character I am, I have always been curious about tattoos, such as what they felt like, my pain threshold, what I would get done, where and how addictive they were. The only thing that ever deterred me from getting a tattoo was the whole permanency thing. Luckily there are tattoo removal parlours for that. So on a recent semester exchange trip to Mexico, I decided to grow a pair of tits and act on my curiosity.

After doing some research, I ended up going to a tattoo parlour that a Mexican guy I had a crush on recommended me. The place was clean and run by an attractive, young male tattooist with beautiful, clear skin. Although I did not understand a word he said, I smiled out of politeness and flirtatiously giggled at everything he said. For most people language barriers are a challenge but for the tattooist and I, (love knows no boundaries and) we managed perfectly well. It was fortunate that my first tattoo was a simple letter ‘M’ on my wrist, therefore nothing complicated.

First tattoo as captured on Instagram

I found the whole experience was fascinating. From the moment I sat down for him to start tattooing me I was completely mesmerised. The ‘pain’ people spoke of was a simple discomfort. I recall telling people how relaxing the experience was ... until he went over the same areas twice, or around the curve of my wrist. The experience set me back $500 peso ($AUD35-40), which was 2-3 times significantly cheaper than prices back in Melbourne for tattoos of the same calibre.

Most of the time when I speak to people with tattoos, they often comment how addictive the ‘pain’ is and how they have this strong desire to continuously get more. I definitely can say that I lack that urge, however I did have the desire to get another tattoo before coming back home to Melbourne. I knew this time though that I wanted something more elaborate than a simple letter ‘M’.

In hindsight I am very grateful how my second tattoo turned out, considering how I communicated to my tattooist using my very limited Spanish vocab and Google Translate of what I wanted done. Reflecting on my experience I realise I probably went about getting tattoos in the wrong way, such as getting them done in a foreign speaking country where I do not know the language fluently and the cost of getting it done was significantly cheaper (and possibly riskier). I am almost shocked that I didn’t end up with a vaginal looking piece permanently imprinted on my body because of the risky channels I used to communicate what I wanted to my tattooist.

Second Tattoo

Although one of the main reasons I decided to get a tattoo overseas was because it was significantly cheaper, I must stress that it was also significantly riskier. I am a cautionary tale that received the best possible outcome, however there are others (not like myself) that are stuck with the permanency of discoloured or misspelt tattoos. Do not be that person and please, think before you ink.

*** For those considering going to Mexico to get inked up, my Tattooist's name is Fabian and this is his Facebook page.

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Have you got any tattoo horror stories you care to show?

Please write them in the comment space below :)

#BeyoncéWouldBeProud x