What's your name again?

That awkward moment when you’re in a social environment  like work, a party, or even at school and the perfect stranger approaches you. They say, “Hey Leah, how are you going? I haven’t seen you in ages!”

My response “Yeah, I’m doing great ... and yourself?” Conversation ensues, all the while you are trying to wrack your brain remembering who the hell they are. Time runs out before you can remember and the person politely ends the conversation, as there is somewhere else they are needed to be. “Well Leah, it was great seeing you! We should catch up sometime. I still have your number, so I’ll see you soon!” I smile, give them a friendly wink, point and nudge in acknowledgement … then turn to a friend as they walk away and ask “Who the hell was that?”

Unfortunately this is a common occurrence for me. When I'm in a social setting I’m pretty outgoing, extroverted and love striking up conversation with strangers. I introduce myself, share a laugh with them then politely move on to the next person. I am not what you’d call a wallflower. I struggle keeping a low profile in any environment, as I like making my presence known, having a laugh, getting to know people and constantly break out in dance.

I don't think I have a forgetful memory like Dory the fish and generally pride myself that I remember most people’s names I interact with. Or at the very least, remember previous conversations, so building rapport or newfound friendship comes easy to me. Hence when I do forget someone’s name, I feel guilty about it.

So I thought I’d share with you some of my favourite ways of avoiding these awkward situations:

#1:      Turn it into a game

When I immediately know I’ve forgotten the person’s name I am interacting with (and they so clearly remember mine since they drop it like it’s hot), I usually apologise then strike up a game with them.

The Game

If I get their name right, I win. If I get their name wrong, they have every right to call me by a name that isn’t my own, so I can forever live down the shame of not remembering theirs.

I have only ever lost this game once and to a small group of friends at work, I am known as ‘Michelle’. Although it is a funny, yet sad reminder that I’m not great at remembering people’s names, I do work with 150+ people. So 2 out of 150+ isn’t bad.

#2:      Bring a friend into the conversation

“Hey, have you met my friend Belinda? Belinda, this is …(gesture her toward the people who’s names you’ve forgotten)”. Without fail those people will politely introduce themselves to ‘Belinda’, unless of course they've picked up on your clever scheme and gesture to you to say their names.

#3:      Admit your imperfections and that you don’t remember their name

Honesty is the best policy. If you have forgotten their name and don't have the luxury of asking someone nearby what their name is, fess up! Yes it's impolite to say, “I am so sorry, but I have forgotten your name”, especially when they so clearly remember yours, but it's how you handle it that is most important. So try to be as polite as you can, or revert back to suggestion #1. They should appreciate your honesty, or get over the fact you have forgotten their name.

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At the end of the day we are all human. We cannot all be perfect by remembering the name of every single person we interact with, but we can try. Or we can simply be apologetic and make an entertaining game out of it.

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If you have any suggestions on avoiding awkward situations like these, I'd love to read them in the comment space below!

#BeyoncéWouldBeProud x

Cautionary Tattoo Tale

As appeared in Klementine Magazine

Image that appears with my article on Klementine
(** Not my tattoo)

Being the crazy character I am, I have always been curious about tattoos, such as what they felt like, my pain threshold, what I would get done, where and how addictive they were. The only thing that ever deterred me from getting a tattoo was the whole permanency thing. Luckily there are tattoo removal parlours for that. So on a recent semester exchange trip to Mexico, I decided to grow a pair of tits and act on my curiosity.

After doing some research, I ended up going to a tattoo parlour that a Mexican guy I had a crush on recommended me. The place was clean and run by an attractive, young male tattooist with beautiful, clear skin. Although I did not understand a word he said, I smiled out of politeness and flirtatiously giggled at everything he said. For most people language barriers are a challenge but for the tattooist and I, (love knows no boundaries and) we managed perfectly well. It was fortunate that my first tattoo was a simple letter ‘M’ on my wrist, therefore nothing complicated.

First tattoo as captured on Instagram

I found the whole experience was fascinating. From the moment I sat down for him to start tattooing me I was completely mesmerised. The ‘pain’ people spoke of was a simple discomfort. I recall telling people how relaxing the experience was ... until he went over the same areas twice, or around the curve of my wrist. The experience set me back $500 peso ($AUD35-40), which was 2-3 times significantly cheaper than prices back in Melbourne for tattoos of the same calibre.

Most of the time when I speak to people with tattoos, they often comment how addictive the ‘pain’ is and how they have this strong desire to continuously get more. I definitely can say that I lack that urge, however I did have the desire to get another tattoo before coming back home to Melbourne. I knew this time though that I wanted something more elaborate than a simple letter ‘M’.

In hindsight I am very grateful how my second tattoo turned out, considering how I communicated to my tattooist using my very limited Spanish vocab and Google Translate of what I wanted done. Reflecting on my experience I realise I probably went about getting tattoos in the wrong way, such as getting them done in a foreign speaking country where I do not know the language fluently and the cost of getting it done was significantly cheaper (and possibly riskier). I am almost shocked that I didn’t end up with a vaginal looking piece permanently imprinted on my body because of the risky channels I used to communicate what I wanted to my tattooist.

Second Tattoo

Although one of the main reasons I decided to get a tattoo overseas was because it was significantly cheaper, I must stress that it was also significantly riskier. I am a cautionary tale that received the best possible outcome, however there are others (not like myself) that are stuck with the permanency of discoloured or misspelt tattoos. Do not be that person and please, think before you ink.

*** For those considering going to Mexico to get inked up, my Tattooist's name is Fabian and this is his Facebook page.

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Have you got any tattoo horror stories you care to show?

Please write them in the comment space below :)

#BeyoncéWouldBeProud x

Kickarse Women: Sia Furler

Beyoncé Would Be Proud is all about Female Empowerment. Every week we will be focusing on a woman, celebrity, local or personal hero, write about their strengths and why they inspire us.

Performing her latest single on the Ellen Show, Sia reminded us why we love her.

Sia, who no longer chooses to show her face to the camera when she performs, explains she is reluctant of the limelight as a means of protecting her mental health, which has suffered in previous years. She shares with Billboard magazine:

“All I wanted to do was write music for pop stars. For one reason or another it never happened for me. Then I got seriously addicted to Vicodin and Oxycodone, and I was always a drinker but I didn’t know I was an alcoholic. I was really unhappy being an artist and I was getting sicker and sicker” – Sia Furler, Billboard Magazine

Sia decided to take back control of her own destiny. Although she retired from music and removed herself from celebrity culture, Sia continued writing music for artists such as Rihanna, Beyoncé, Britney Spears, etc. However for someone like Sia, who has so much passion, innovation and talent for their craft, it is hard to completely remove them from what they love most.

Sia's cover photo for Billboard Magazine

You can hear this real passion resonate through Sia's voice when listening to her music. She is a true, genuine artist who uses her music as a vehicle of creative expression and self-release. From her sombre album ‘Colour the Small One’ expressing the loss of her late partner, Dan. To the more popular, upbeat ‘We Are Born’. You can tell Sia's passion for her craft through visuals she creates like her album cover art and music videos such as Buttons, The Girl You Lost to Cocaine  and You’ve Changed (below). It is hard not being influenced by Sia’s infectious, vibrant personality. The girl is quirky, colourful and celebrates it! What more is there to love?

My friend and I were lucky enough to have the privilege of experiencing one of Sia’s live concerts in 2011 before announcing her retirement. The whole thing was such a memorable experience! From the moment she stepped on stage painted head to toe in black with a pink tutu and started interacting with the audience, asking if there was a ‘Rebecca’ in the audience because Sia’s mum requested she say hello. She also encouraged the audience to yell random words at her so she could personably make up a song on the spot for the audience.

Sia performing in concert 2011

She even explained between songs that she gets very energised and distracted by the audience when performing, as all she wants to do is interact with audience members. She further explained she gets so distracted that she sometimes forgets the lyrics to her own songs, which actually happened! She got so distracted that she apologised and had to hum the rest of lyrics until she got to the chorus. Since Sia explained herself with such sincerity before the blunder, it was hard to find this act anything but endearing.

Sia's costumer change with fairy wings that blew out bubbles

Sia is definitely a rare form of artist. Although there may be artists similar to her, there are none like her. She is truly unique, exceptionally innovative and a game changer. I am so happy that after experiencing darkness, she has found a way to reconnect with her craft, while removing herself from celebrity culture and using things like a paper bag to hide her identity for the sake of her mental health. I honestly hope Sia successfully achieves her anti-fame manifesto as she intends.

Promo photo for Sia's upcoming album

If you know of any empowering women willing and deserving to be interviewed, suggestions or feedback, please do not hesitate to contact me by emailing here.

#BeyonceWouldBeProud x

Why 'Beyoncé Would Be Proud'

I’d like to let you all on a little secret … I do not personally know Beyoncé.

I would like to let you know though that I am a city girl from Melbourne with real problems like ‘if I should wash my hair tonight or save it for after soccer practice tomorrow’. These are the real things I worry about.

Queen Bey & I outside Coco Bongo in Mexico

I do not know what Beyoncé is proud of, but based on my perception of what she embodies, represents and brings to public knowledge, I believe Beyoncé would be proud of the ambitious woman I am. I have strength, act on my ambitions and follow through with my passions such as writing this blog and travelling independently. I also feel strongly about women’s rights and often feel offended when men treat women secondary, put them down, dismiss or devalue their worth. I also do not like the way  traditional masculinity negatively impacts on female relations by encouraging them to  compete and act against each other through bitchiness and slut shaming.

Before travelling solo through most of Latin America, I used to suffer much self-doubt. Now I feel self-assured, confident and happy as a person, which is something no one can take away from me. My experiences have shaped the person I am today and am thankful for that. Over the years I have built a newfound appreciation for myself that enables me to speak my mind if I feel mistreated or devalued, which is something I could not do before as I lacked self-confidence and self-appreciation. However I know my worth now, am happy and unapologetic for that. I also know I can be an over-sharer and believe some of the funniest stories are the ones that should never  been told, which I am also impenitent for.

Beyonce circa 2014

Given how much Beyoncé values her privacy, I am doubtful she would be too impressed with my love for poop stories and immature reactions (i.e. bursting out in laughter) when someone farts in public. We’re all human at the end of the day though. We should embrace our imperfections and celebrate our craziness.

While I strongly admire Beyoncé, her womanly prowess; the documentaries I have watched about her music career depict her to be a very strong-willed, determined and serious woman who pays great attention to the finest details. She does not leave much to chance and likes to be in complete control of her situation. As soon as she loses the slightest bit of control of her situation, she is not a happy Beyoncé.

Part 1 (of five) Beyonce's insight into her latest album released in 2013

I consider Beyoncé to be an intellectual, powerfully influential, empowering woman who kicks all arses and dominates the music industry. However I personally like leaving things to chance and going with the flow. I do not believe in making plans, as I know they never work out as intended. I also enjoy having freedom, flexibility and consider myself to be a care free spirit who doesn’t take life seriously and loves sharing a laugh amongst new and old friends.

Life is about having fun and living it to the fullest without regrets. It is about doing more of what makes you happy. For me that is writing, which I know is something Beyoncé would be proud of.

#BeyoncéWouldBeProud x